Sex: Communication & Consent

Communication and healthy relationships

Healthy relationships and sexuality require open and honest communication with a partner. It’s important that you can talk about previous partners, sexually transmitted infection (STI) testing, sexual health products, boundaries and preferences. When it comes to preventing unintended pregnancy and STIs, communication is key.

Assessing sexual readiness

You are the only one who can decide when you feel ready for or interested in sex, what kinds of sex you are comfortable (or not comfortable) with, and where your boundaries are.

It’s also important to consider the risk of STIs and unintended pregnancy well as the emotional risk involved. If you don’t feel interested in sex or ready to take on those risks, that’s okay!

To learn more about understanding your own sexuality, check out the healthy sexual decision-making module in Canvas (login required).

Understanding consent

FRIES is a helpful acronym to remember the elements of consent.

  • Freely given: Consenting is a choice you can make without pressure, manipulation, or under the influence of drugs or alcohol
  • Reversible: Anyone can change their mind about what they feel like doing, anytime. Even if you’ve done it before, and even if you’re both naked in bed
  • Informed: You can only consent to something if you have the full story. For example, if someone says they’ll use a condom and then they don’t, there isn’t full consent
  • Enthusiastic: When it comes to sex, you should only do stuff you want to do, not things that you feel you’re expected to do
  • Specific: Saying yes to one thing (like going to the bedroom to make out) doesn’t mean you’ve said yes to others (like having sex)

If you think your right to consent has been violated, assistance and support is available: